I cracked the window open just a bit today. Assuming you know me, that was a huge improvement. Dealing with sunlight head-on, without ANY coffee???
U shall not pass
I imagined tiny particles of depression floating around in here… perhaps with the light and the cold wind they’ll reach for a new home. On the other hand, these particles are a part of me, so would I miss them when they’re not here?
I’d have to get back to you on that…
“So what’s the big deal” you might say, “managing sunlight in your house at this time of the morning regardless of the cold. I do it all the time”. Yup, and I struggle with mathematics that would make your brain hurt, holding a pen in each hand without breaking a sweat.
One knows its limits… I’ll stick with mine, perhaps doing one baby step after another.
I look outside my window for a bit. A playground, full of children playing with the snow. Laughs that echoed all over my gloomy living room. Perhaps I smiled a bit.
How is it possible that this endless white ruins your mood, the sound of laughter and the sunshine is just static inside your head and you desperately want to find an off switch?
The answer is elementary my dear Watson.
I wish that my braid had an off switch so I could stop and enjoy what other people take for granted. I wish I could find the joy in the simplest things. Perhaps I need someone to point them out.
I don’t hate the snow. Being in this mood is not a choice I made.
I JUST CAN’T SNAP OUT OF IT.
Trust me, it is worst in here than it is out there. I’m not stuck in a loop because I enjoy it. I’m trying to get out.
Perhaps I made the first step…
to be continued