More than a week has pasted since my first entry in here. I try not to think about it as a blog/social media rampage of likes and followers. An endless self consuming pursuit of “look-how-handsome-and-clever-I-am”.
Instead it is a journal and a self-exploration and a healing process. A conversation with oneself about one’s deepest and scariest things that dwell in one’s mind. A search for a light (or lights) that might lead somewhere bright and sunny.
Or at least … some light. And I really need it.
I know (we all do) that there are simple answers to our questions, answers such as:
- “It’s all in your head, there’s a spotlight that amplifies what to feel to the tenfold”.
- “Try to find the light wherever you can and acknowledge it for what it is.”
- “Share with your loved ones”.
- “A therapist in addition with the right medication can improve things”.
I suppose there’s no need to go on. We’ve all been there. We all know that feeling, despite the difference in our condition.
So we all know the feeling of despair, emptiness and darkness that makes us numb and self destructive. That forces us to stay in bed and do nothing. That makes us walk around in circles not ready to face the “nothome” reality of our home. That urges us to get lost in crowded bars, lonely between other people. That drives us to get connected with wrong people, just to get a reassuring word and a touch that in our troubled mind says “I care“.
I need not go on either I suppose.
But being here among you BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE taught me another thing.
We’re not alone, or if I can rephrase it with one of the most beautiful comments that I have read, “let us be alone, together“.
Anonymity is also a blessing in which we can talk without being judged.
There are people out there that suffer as you do and within their suffering they still find the strength to offer a hand and say “I’m here, I can relate”.
They care and they read and they comment and they share. So we all can continue sharing. And we all can continue being. And we all can see our suffering from a set of fresh eyes and say “I can continue”.
I thank you all you beautiful people.
and the most important thing…
MY BOY THANKS YOU ALL.
to be continued