The Grey Monster

Some people would say Mondays suck. It’s the start of the working week, it marks the end of the weekend hence the start of the loop work – home – work.

On the other hand, Mondays mark a beginning. I suppose many of you out there had started a sentence, or several sentences such as “I will start doing … on Monday.” But there is another point of view.

The grey monster.

This is the way I see my condition. A way to rationalize it, to separate it from myself.

I watched a movie past weekend called “Daybreakers”. Nothing fancy, just the end of the world, vampires and some poor humans suffering.

But it had a certain point of view that was unique. When it was night-time and a vampire was there, the movie was black and white. When it was daytime (rare) and a human was there, the movie was in color.

One can give a reason for the director using this technique, or many.

Vampires=Soulless monsters=No colors=No feelings… etc.

But it is not my point. After all, meaning is for each and everyone to give, regardless of its existence. Something like “Schrodinger’s Cat”, it’s either there or it isn’t,  depends if you want to give a meaning or not.

I want, but that’s for another entry.

My point is the “greyness”. An entity that’s inside me, consuming colors. Feasting on feelings and pleasures. Replaces everything with shades of grey. So I can’t differentiate time at work from time with friends. Time to rest and time to spend doing maths. Time alone and time with my son.

All feel the same. All seem the same. No sense of continuum or purpose. No sense of rest. Just time after time after time.

That’s what my “Grey Monster” does. Devours colors, feelings and purpose. Takes away meaning.

So either Monday or Friday, it makes no difference.

Just emptiness…

Void.

don’t know if I can continue.

L.

24 thoughts on “The Grey Monster

  1. Sounds familiar.. From my past but still familiar. I wish you the strenght to fight the ‘Grey Monster’ and burn it to nothingness! 🙂 Take care my interwebs friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Please, please go to talk to someone who can give you the support you need. My brother is bipolar and he tried to cope on his own for years. He ended up in hospital for six weeks when he had a very bad dip in his mood. The medications he received there took some time to work and some time to get the balance right. It was hard battling to get it right, but worthwhile. He is much, much better now. If one medication doesn’t help, try another and another. There are so many nowadays there will be one for you. So please, please go to someone. I can hear your son crying now about losing his dad! Please don’t make that a reality. Ring someone now! Lots of love from, Kate.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Wow…lots :)) Step by step is working better for me, but Im also trying to jump in allllllll at once, usually. What about new ppl? Did u meet some u liked? Do you have moments when you don’t have any thoughts in your head, it’s absolutely empty? If yes..how does it feels? If no – try it (how long u can survive without “voice”?) …

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Trying the 6-2-8 breath trick you wrote as often as I can. Helps sometimes at being in “now” instead of past or future. No new people though, but I suppose it has to do with the vibe I’m currently sending.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yeah, it’s a good trick & time to time works, bcz it allows us to rest (for a while)..it’s very difficult to keep mind/brains absolutely empty. Feeling is amazing tho..- peace. But I can’t do it more than 30 sec lol😱😂 I’ve tried. I mean without breathing tho..

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      4. It’s good enough for a minute.. so many thoughts r kinda ‘dangling’ in our minds during whole day – we have to give it a rest at least for a minute a day :)) ✌️🙃

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  3. Reblogged this on raynotbradbury and commented:
    How you all feel about Monday? What are the safe ways to fight The Grey Monster? How do we get over loneliness? It’s difficult to give advices or tips…and we all been there. Read this post and share your thoughts/ideas. Be kind. Spread some love on us ❤️👋

    Liked by 1 person

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